PHOTO: Micky Van De Ven fell on his head after being dribbled by Alexander Isak

Information reaching Kossyderrickent has it that Micky Van De Ven fell on his head after being dribbled by Alexander Isak.

The curse of the commentator has struck Van de Ven with the Dutch defender at fault for Newcastle’s three goals. Van de Ven was sat down twice in as many minutes by Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon, with the latter cutting inside to hand Newcastle a two-goal advantage before the break. Isak added a third goal as he raced away from the Spurs man, who had stepped up and left space in behind despite he ex-Dortmund striker being in his own half.

It is a ludicrous tale — how a club in the Dutch second division came so close to discarding the defender now testing the shutter speeds of photographers’ cameras at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. 

Today, he holds the Premier League record as its fastest-ever player, previously clocked at 23.23mph. Back then, he supposedly smuggled lead in his socks, a story which Van de Ven’s father, Marcel, related to Mail Sport this week.

‘When the Volendam trainer said, “You’re not fast enough and not good enough”, I understood that a kid who’s 16 might think, “That’s it. I’m done. I have to go”,’ Marcel said, speaking from his native Netherlands. 

‘But I told him, “This is the best message they are ever going to give you. You know you can play, so play. If you think they are going to send you away, just play. And if they send you away, I will bring you to the club where you can play with your friends. But for now, go on. Do what you like. Do what you love. Do what you want. Live your dream”.

Fans were quick to slam Ferdinand, whose earlier comments came back to bite him.

Neil Atkinson tweeted: “I like Van de Ven but the reverse Midas Touch of Rio Ferdinand takes absolutely no prisoners.”

@brunsama posted on X: “I can’t believe Rio hyped up Van de Ven like that in the buildup, guy is an amateur with pace.”

@Bellaamatti felt sorry for the defender: “The fact that Rio Ferdinand was calling him a Rolls Royce defender right before the game 😭 he jinxed the poor guy.”

Arsenal fans were out in force to mock Ferdinand and Van de Ven. An account named, Martinelli Madness, said: “He is not a Rolls Royce, he’s a Vauxhall Corsa.”